我与世界共享女儿：美国母亲给即将上大学的女儿的一封信

　　开学季，对于那些要迈进大学校门的孩子来说，意味着新生活的开始，但对于部分家长却是一场略带离伤的暂别。下面这封信，是一位美国妈妈写给她即将步入大学校门的中国女儿的，字里行间，彰显着舐犊之情。家人的关爱将伴随着孩子独自前行，完成人生中最重要的一场成人礼。

　　亲爱的Sophie，

　　几年前，我就已经在脑海里开始构思这封要写给你的信了。我回想起我们登上从中国飞往美国的飞机，带你回家。你紧紧地握着我的手，而我在想，此时此刻谁会更加迷茫害怕，是你还是我？你当时只有5岁，我们才刚刚认识10天，尽管在我心中，我觉得我们已经认识很久很久了。

　　你很勇敢，离开那些照顾过你的人，向你的朋友、你的国家、语言、食物以及你所熟识的一切告别。你带着信念，挽着我和爸爸，勇敢地奔向未来。

　　其实这也是我第一次做妈妈，很紧张、很忐忑。但我下定决心，即便自己只剩下最后一口气，也要保护你免受任何伤害。从你离开孤儿院奔向我怀抱的那一刻，我余生的愿望就是让你永远快乐，永远都有甜美的笑容。我祈祷家庭的关爱可以实现这些愿望。我并非无所不能，但亲爱的，我会努力让你的生活尽可能美好。

　　过去的十几年，你已经成为了我们生活中的明灯。当然，你的哥哥也是。虽然他一直声称在你走后想立即“抢夺”你的房间，只因为这个房间网速更快。但相信我，他绝对不是故意这样说的。

　　你离家后，他肯定会很想你。

　　不知有多少次，在你受欺负时，他毫不犹豫地冲出来用拳头保护你，同时他也从你那里学会如何宽恕别人。

　　你还记得那个欺负你的二年级女孩吗？她把你小提琴盒子上的标签撕下来扔到食堂的垃圾桶里。在校长办公室，她当着所有人的面向你道歉。你给了她一个拥抱并说，“为什么欺负别人会让你感到快乐呢。”你的这句话让包括我在内的所有大人都感到惊讶。

　　你的睿智将成为你人生中的向导。相信你自己吧。

　　我还要赞扬你在学习上的认真刻苦。无论你遇到多么大的挑战，你从不轻言放弃。如果问题很棘手，你会更加深入研究。我常常会看到被作业本埋没的你，面对一大堆的功课，你从未有过抱怨，一次都没有。

　　你从不指责任何一位老师（好吧，这些我都“代劳”了），你也从不会要求被特殊对待（好吧，这些我也做了）。你比我见过的任何人都努力。

　　除了认真学习，你还是个心地善良的孩子。还记得你14岁的时候我们回中国旅行，探访你的孤儿院。细细回想，那真的是很沉重的一天。你能很平静的面对你的过去，接受你曾经因为收养而遭遇过的痛苦，而这些，人们都常都不愿意提及。你却能平静面对，去原谅、继续前行。

　　那天，当我们向孤儿院告别得时候，你对曾经的伙伴Fu Gui承诺，一定会回来帮助她完成裂唇修复手术。你的确做到了，亲爱的，你做到了。

　　你召集来自全世界的中国领养者，发起捐款活动，帮助那些需要帮助的孤儿。你做这些都是无私的，不求任何回报的。你在大学入学考试时还写了一篇题为《Sophie的计划——爱无国界》的文章。你的行动令很多人钦佩。孩子，你做的真棒。

　　几天以后，我们将把你送到大学的宿舍里。我不得不承认，你进入大学，帮你购置宿舍用的冰箱和微波炉，对我们来说是喜忧参半的事情。尽管你的学校离家并不远，但为了让新生更快融入校园生活，学校规定学生周末也不能回家。谢谢教会我如何发短信，使用Skype。

　　你离家后，我们无法诉说对你的思念。但对于你的离开，我会选择平和对待。我知道，你已经准备好了，我也迫不及待地想看到你如何通过自己的努力让这个世界变得更加美好，我们相信你肯定能做到，因为你已经做到了。

　　向前冲吧，我亲爱的孩子。你没问题的。

　　爱你的妈妈

       （对了，放心，我不会让Simon霸占你的房间的）。

　　以下是原文：

       I’mNot An Empty Nester. I’m Just Sharing My Daughter With The World.

       Sending my incredible daughter off tocollege feels sad, but right.

       Dear Sophie,

       I actually began writing this letter to youin my head years ago. I started it as we boarded the plane from China to bringyou home with us to America. You grabbed my hand tightly and I wondered who wasmore afraid: you or me?. You were five years old at the time and we had knowneach other for about 10 days, although the calendar in my heart would disagreeand say it had been forever.

       You were just so brave ― leavingbehind your caregivers, your friends, your birth country, language, food and everythingelse familiar to you.  You walked so boldly into the future, armed onlywith your faith in me and your Dad to make life turn out OK. I was terrified asa first-time mom, but already knew I would gladly give my last breath toprotect you from harm. From the moment you broke free of your orphanagecaregivers and ran into my arms, all I’ve wanted to accomplish with the rest ofmy life has been to keep your happy spirit alive and your smile kindled sweet.I prayed that the unfaltering love of a family could accomplish that. We knowI’m not perfect, but Sweetie, you just may be.

       For the past dozen or so years you havebeen the light of our lives. Yes, of course, your brother is that too. And Ireally don’t think he means it when he says he’s claiming your room as soon asyou leave because the WiFi is better in there. He will miss having you around.While he has more than once rushed to protect you with his fists, he has alsolearned forgiveness from you. Do you remember that girl in second grade who bulliedyou and stole the luggage tag off your violin, threw it in the cafeteria trashcan? When we all met up in the principal’s office where she was made toapologize, you hugged her and asked her “why does being mean to people make youfeel good?”    The jaw of every adult in the room dropped to the floor― including mine. Your wisdom will always be your guide. Trust yourself.

       I also need to commend you on your workethic. You aren’t a quitter, no matter how hard your learning challenges wereto overcome. If it was tough, you just dug in deeper. I would find you passedout at the table surrounded by textbooks and you never complained. Not once.You never blamed a teacher (OK, I did that for you), you never asked forspecial considerations (yeah, guilty there too), you just worked harder thananyone I have ever seen.

       And then there is your heart. Remember whenwe went to China when you were 14 and werevisited your orphanage? Pretty heavy day, if you recall. You used thevisit to make peace with your past, to accept all the painand loss that comes with adoptionthat people don’t like to talk about,forgive and move on. When you look back, it is to help those left behind. It’swhy before we said goodbye that day to your former crib-mate, you pledged tocome back and help Fu Hui get the surgeries she needed to repair her clefts.And you did it, Baby. You did it. You applied that “won’t take no for ananswer” attitude and channeled it toward making a difference in that one starfish’s life.

       Yourallied Chinese adoptees from around the world to raise money and “help thesisters left behind.” And while I know you did it for selflessreasons, selflessness had its own payback in this case. You wrote your collegeessay about Sophie’s    Project/Love Without Boundaries and thecolleges, well, they pretty much were tripping over themselves to get you as astudent. You done great, Kiddo.

And now comes the best part: In a few days,we will deposit you in your new college dorm room. I have to admit, it’s been alittle bittersweet shopping for dorm refrigerators and microwaves. Your schoolisn’t all that far away but I can tell from the links you’ve been sending meabout how important it is for freshmen to get involved on their campuses thatyou won’t be coming home every weekend. I hope my efforts to get your local babysittingclients to use you on weekends weren’t too obvious. In the meantime, thank youfor teaching me how to text and skype.

       There are no words for how much we willmiss seeing you every day. But I am oddly at peace with your leaving forcollege. I know you are ready and I truly can’t wait to see how you make thisworld better ― which you absolutely will because you already have.

       Go forth, my Peanut. You got this.

       Love, Mom

       p.s. No, I won’t let Simon have your room.

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